Last night, I hosted a very poorly-run meeting:
- No clear plan with any desired outcomes in mind
- Zero actions for anyone to take afterward
- Failure to have any assigned roles assigned
- No clear point of view from the leader (me)
The attendees each pushed their own agendas, didn’t attend to conversation with curiosity, quickly lost attention and had no respect for the meeting host (me).
It was a failure on many accounts.
I asked my kids where they wanted to vacation this summer.
You can see how far we got in the picture.
My youngest wants to stay in a hotel. Awesome.
My oldest expects her younger siblings (5 and 3 years old) to enjoy being dragged around a big city (not going to happen) and does not realize just how big California is.
My middle child (isn’t it always the middle child?) was shooting his sisters with a Nerf gun during said “meeting.”
If getting them excited was the plan, I succeeded.
If getting clarity on what they wanted was the plan, I mostly failed. But I know it takes time to get buy-in, and this was a start.
I’ll rebound from my poor leadership, I just know it.
Joking aside, if you’re the one leading or planning a meeting, a few tips might go a long way:
1. Only invite people who have a necessary role in the meeting. Don’t waste people’s time or your organization’s money by inviting everyone. Please.
2. Clearly define the outcome you want for the meeting (i.e., what do you want the attendees to DO as a result of the meeting) For example: The family will agree on three options for summer vacation.
3. Know your point of view and frame it up for the participants, unless the meeting is for brainstorming and not decision-making (see the above point). For example, I want to go somewhere all the kids will enjoy and am not ready to schlep them around for 3 weeks in an RV visiting National Parks - my dream trip in a few years when they are older.
4. Don’t make the meeting longer than is necessary (note: the average sustained attention for adults is ONLY 8 seconds these days; you’d better know how to keep their attention).
5. End with a recap - ask participants what was useful for them and what actions they will take after the meeting, and by what date. As for me, I need to take my own medicine and go back to the drawing board. :)
PS: We’ve loved Emerald Isle, Outer Banks, Myrtle Beach, and Cape Cod for beaches, but I’m always open to new places and experiences. I’ll be using my influence to make sure we end up somewhere that is fun for all.
Leadership, whether at work or home, is a constant learning journey. Hosting a meeting—no matter the setting—requires preparation, clarity, and intentionality. This experience reminded me that while missteps happen, they’re also opportunities to grow, adapt, and try again. With a clearer plan and better facilitation, I’m confident our next 'vacation meeting' will be a success.